Not so Happy Birthday

They tell you that Anniversaries and Birthdays are when you will miss your loved ones most. This weekend was my 38th birthday and my second since Jennifer left us.

It struck me as odd that I am now officially older than her, something I never ever believed would happen.

There were two celebrations, one with family, and the other with friends. The parties were lovely -- with good food, and even better company -- but I could not shake the empty feeling I had inside.

Then it hit me.

I missed her. I miss her not because the people surrounding me were lacking, but rather because she was always so central to every celebration, to every party. She was always the life of the party, the one who would laugh out loudest, who would organize everyone to dance, sing, whatever! 

I feel so lost without her at times, and none more than this weekend. I wish I could feel her presence, I wish I could reach out and touch the air and somehow feel her spirit.

But there is nothing there, only the air, only emptiness...